Souped-up Golf Carts

I think for the most part I do not enjoy sarcasm. I try to not dish it out but, often I do. One thing I think is very funny is when people are being sarcastic, then, someone says, "Is that sarcasm?" Then they sarcastically answer, "Nope." To me that is really funny. I don't know why but I just thought about that....

I'm at work today and some high school guys come inside. One guy starts talking about how he wishes his cart was faster... I say "do you know how to adjust it? Put a tee in it?" he has no clue that this is even possible... I first show him the bolt to adjust to get the speed he wants... But then I show him the golf cart racing associations soupin up must. Which is a tee between the cable in the engine compartment against the generator, you may have to cut the tee to obtain the highest speed possible. I begin telling them about how when I was younger we would race them down the road... Then the moment of truth comes. Time for a test drive. He is thrilled. He cannot believe that his cart will go that fast.... I guess that is the way I was too when I found out... But, it was cool to see them get that excited.

I went to ChickFilA in Padcah Kentucky with my sister Wednesday. There was about 200 people there waiting in line at 6AM. They gave us all raffle tickets and started drawing. Megan was number 42 and I was, well I never got drawn. So, we split the 52. It was fun, I got to spend time with her and I also got to talk to some pretty cool people and got to talk to some not so pretty cool but cool people. I met this fella named Damon, he was cool. We talked a whole lot and shared different stories. I'm not sure how much he was bs'in me though. I also read Through Painted Deserts by Donald Miller. I started the book a month ago and couldn't ever get into it. But, when you're just sitting outside for 24 hours with nothing to do...I read. It was a really good book and I really enjoyed it once I started got into it. It is more or less of a journal of his for a month. During that month or 2 he leaves Texas for the open road with his buddy Paul. They live in a VW van and are basically hippies. He goes from living a life where so much matters, to a life where nothing materialistic really matters all that much. The first few chapters he talks about how he believes that it is good to go out and make yourself. That it is not finding yourself, you're actually making yourself. They travel from Texas to Oregan with stops in the Grand Canyon, Vegas, Sacremento... He talks alot and so much of the book is just his journaling but I believe it's funny too. The book talks a whole lot about what life is about I believe. And within that is truly just being happy. Yet, that is not as easy as it sounds. Because one would say many things make you happy... I just got a new phone and I'm happy about that. But, I am talking about true happiness that cannot be taken away. Yeah it can be frusturated, aggravated and such but not taken away. But, thats not all. I'm also talking about just loving people for who they are... Don talks about beautiful things and people who ask the question why opposed to how. He believes that the why question is way more important than how... Because sunsets happen... chemicals in his brain makes him think how beautiful it is... but why is it like that? Why is the sunset.... That was kind of a new perspective to me I often just take things as they are without asking questions.... But I like the idea of asking the why question....

Cisterns

So Saturday at work a lady calls, she seems to be very old...80+ I'm not real sure, Marylin Smith was her name. She called and asked me about how the majority house leader. And was asking how a man could get so tan playing golf. She said he was tan all over, I said, "Mam, he probably plays at a country club where they have a swimmin pool." We talked for close to ten minutes. I am unaware how I did not get to laughing. Then she was talking about Obama and whether or not he was black enough according to Jay Leno, then was wondering if this man was orange enough. She proceeded to tell me that he may use that "tan in a can" stuff. She also told me that she called his office and asked how he got so tan, thats how she knew he golfed. This lady might have made my day in her craziness.
But today at church a family got up in front of the congregation for a little commission since they are going overseas as missionaries. She talked about who knows what, but, He talked about digging his own cisterns(wells to hold water) instead of relying on the one God has given us. He was a Younglife leader and talked about how he dug his own got pleasure out of that then realized after a few years it was dry. Then he got his pleasure in life by living in God's will and so forth... It hit me that I am often getting pleasure out of worldly things but then when I get my water from God it is so awesome and is not dry. It is very much fulfilling. I also seen a beautiful picture of marriage, I thought to myself this is what marriage is. It's about to submitting to God, then you really can't go wrong as long as your living in pursuit and within God's will. Which brings me to my next story. Today at the 19th hole, these men (very loose term) were talking about how Meatball was going to have to drop his membership due to his wife wanting to come out and watch him play golf. The story goes his wife told him she would like to watch golf in person one day. This all happened the week that he played in a 2man tournament with a very "scandalous" lady, in which you pick your partner. Well, she followed them around, and continues to. So, at the 19th hole he gets made fun of for his wife following... Later on the two men are talking about meaty dropping his membership, I say "why?" These two guys, one of them who is divorced, one of them who averages 3 hours in the bar a day, says you'll understand someday, you gotta have your own place... I think, "man, hmm you guys don't know what marriage is about..." It just grabbed me, meaty was being very sketchy, and his wife said huh ugh, I don't think so... But, who knows.... I just know that I don't want to marry someone whom I feel I might have to run from later in life or not want to be around....
But, when asking those questions I also ponder, why do I want the things I don't really want. And do the things I don't really want to do... But I guess those guys at the bar never said before they got married "in 15 years I hope I'm miserable." I think it could be all about following the Lord and not the world...
In other news, a boy came in and ate 3 candy bars in a row....

TRUST

This is a poem? maybe more just me rambling sentences without answers. As I began reading Brennan Manning's Ruthless Trust ideas grabbed a hold and I began thinking...

To really understand something you must trust.
How can I say I believe if I do not truly trust?
What man can take away anothers trust?
What gods do not require trust?
What relationship does not require trust?
To whom is worthy of my trust?
Where is shalom without trust?
What man can be whole without trust?
What man is crazy enough to trust?
What man lives for others and not himself?
Can man truly know the desire of God?
Who am I to not trust God?
Surely he will care for me.
Why should I worry of tomorrow?
Am I willing to trust?
Am I willing to not look only to my own desires?
Who am I to think my ideas are best?
Why is it so hard to trust?
A great joy in life comes as we learn to trust.
Not only a joy for ourselves but for everyone around. But, most importantly for the Father.
What do I have to lose in trust?
Am I only saving my self from the pain? Go trust.

Approaching 21

When I look at my life, I love it. There is not many things in my life that I can say that I would change if given the opportunity. The way I live, the things I learn, the things I do. Today I went to Pizza Hut in Sparta to eat lunch with a highschool guy. Before going I prayed that we would both have a good time and that if God willing we would talk about something worthwhile. We got there and ate a lot(it was the buffet.) But, there was not really any time while we we're talking that I sensed we could talk about something deeper than just surface stuff. I was alright leaving and felt good because even though we didn't talk about anything deep, I did get to spend time with him and show him love whether or not he realized it.
This brings me to my next point, as i approach 21 I get excited because I will be able to go out and have a good time. My friends say they can't wait... But, what I have found out recently is that I may not really want to do this... Occasionaly of course, but, what I really want my life to be about is about loving others. I have a sign by my bedroom door that reads "It's not all about me." But, most of the time it is all about me and that is not what i want. I want to be propelled by Christ's love so much that i would not even think of myself. Just like Phillipians 2
¹If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, ²then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. ³Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. ⁴Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. ⁵Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
⁶Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
⁷but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
⁸And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!

So as I go forward I hope that I can keep this in mind and know it.

July so far.

Well, hello to all. I'm just writing this to write. I do not have anything much to tell you. I just didn't want to stop writing. I wanted to keep you informed of my life. I wanted to tell you stuff. This weekend I celebrated Independence Day in Pigeon Forge. Jordan Walley came, as well as Justin Steele, Michael Borden, Drew Wilkinson and Brandon Stephenson. We got a room at the Family Inns of America for $29.97 a night (killer deal) We also visited Discipleship Focus very often. On the 2nd we got there and hung out and went to eat at McCallister's Deli. I got to steal Lauren Daughtery for the night and go walking. It was really good. Saturday we just hung out waiting on fireworks. Walley, Drew and Myself dressed up. Somewhat against my will, but, drew said "she's your girlfriend you don't have to impress her anymore..." So, i dressed up which may or may not have been a good idea. We get to Patriot park to watch Diamond Trio, man they're awful. We try to get a closer seat, guy starts yelling at me and walley because his 5 year old boy cannot see because we sat in the grass in front of their lawnchairs.... Then old lady starts yelling at our buddy Jared. She was being really hateful, I wanted to punch out her lights! We decide to leave early. I yell at her while we're leaving IM SORRY WE GOT IN YOUR WAY!... Maybe i overreacted maybe i didn't. Sunday July 4, 2010 Drew and myself both got speeding tickets from the same motorcycle cop at the same time. Talk about two birds with one stone, it turned out better than we expected though. As long as we do not get any motor vehicle violations for the next 6 months we are off the hook and do not have to pay that one. It is called Traffic Probation. Yeah, i'm on probabtion.... Sunday we hung out at DFO, walley and I hung out with Autumn Collum, turns out she is really cool as well... Sunday night Mike Ashburn talked at family night really just bringing it. Talked about ebeneezers and how we are to love every single person. That we are Christ to the people that we come into contact during our days...Which is something awesome. monday we left. As soon as I got home I went and ate at my mommas house, played golf... Tuesday I worked and afterwords went to hang out in Sparta with one of my Younglife guys. It was awesome getting to talk to him and sharing instances from both of our lives that we found cool. We sat at Sonic for an hour talking about grace and why things happen and hebrew language... it was cool... Today I am at work....

More Than a Head Bob?

So, as I read The Furious Longing of God, he talks about how the greatest thing we can do is love one another. But, what is love? Love (lŭv)

A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness

But, I'm not sure that this is a good definition to look at if we look at John 15:12 Love each other as I have loved you. What about those people we find to be unlovable. Are we supposed to fake our feelings of affection and solicitude? I guess the real problem is whether we are submitting ourselves and abiding in Jesus Christ. When we are abiding we will know we are doing wrong to those who we feel unlovable and if we are abiding we will not feel bad thoughts towards them? Grace? Maybe we do not enjoy being in their presence... Maybe we have to lay down our own selves and look not only to our own interests but also into the interests of others? So, when we do this, lowering ourselves, making others greater than ourselves what do we get? There was a time I was riding back from Nashville with a buddy Nick and another girl that I found to be super annoying. She was talking the whole time, rambling on and on... I remember him buying into it all, I was sitting in the backseat laughing and I could not believe what she was saying... They sounded like all lies to me. Later I sent him a message that said "That was all a load of BS." he replied "I hope not." See, I think he was loving her for who she was no matter whether they were lies or not... I was pissed, I wouldn't have/didn't/don't like the girl. Then I ask myself how was I supposed to be able to like her? Well, I guess the answer is in Jesus. I suppose I am a little turd myself and some people have a super hard time loving me. But, Jesus loved me, and you, and everyone no matter what. This has turned into more of a Grace thing rather than love. Maybe what I'm getting at is that it takes a incredible amount of grace to love someone. When we screw up it's almost expected, when we are screw ups its expected. This hasn't answered my question to what love is, only explained and revealed to myself how much grace is involved in Love.

This is overwhelming to actually think about what love is and try to find words to explain what it is.
Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13
God is love, whoever lives in love lives in God and God in him. 1 John 4:16
Do everything in love. 1 Corinthians 16:4

1 John 4: 7-21 It talks about God's love for us and ours for him and others. Let us love one another, for love comes from God. It talks about how God sent his son that we might live through him. That's a sacrifice, God sacrificed something he loved, to give out more love?... Not that we loved but that he loved us... Since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.
We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us his spirit. This goes back to the abiding part, if we are living in him we will want to love... We know and rely on the love God has for us... Maybe he is talking about our significance that comes from God, the need of no one else because God has loved us... But, the need for us to love others? maybe that is so we can experience even more love that God has for us. If we put ourselves in his shoes, loving everyone, maybe we can experience more of him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears in not made perfect in love. I feel that I have always been afraid that in love, if I did something, someone wouldn't love me. But I found out that is not true, this goes back to the part about grace. There is so much grace in love and love in grace. It's a wild concept to me. Whoever loves God must also love his brother. I believe I am one to try to get around this, by only loving some of those brothers of mine. The rest I am kind to while in person, but do not particularly like being around. But, I have noticed change in that recently. Which is something I have been very intentional about, as I feel it is important.

I am still pretty sure I have not yet found out exactly what love is but i have an idea and continue to work on that. I know that it is not only what I used to think it was, it still may be some of those things. But, I realize now that it is not solely those few things and that there is so much more to it!

William Nathan Dale

(sorry for this entry being more of a journal and less of a ughh, actually it's my blog, I'll write about whatever I want to...) But seriously thanks for taking time to read about how I feel, think and believe.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HvJO6W7MFMI

Dulcinea

This morning I read a chapter out of Brennan Manning's The Furious Longing of God. The chapter i read was entitled "healing." I thought what in the world is this about, healing... and so forth. My boy Brennan is a Grace man, he's all about grace and loving people as they are not who they should be or who we want them to be or who God wants them to be. So, this chapter was not about physical healing but about inner healing.

Finally brethen, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. - Phil 4:8 I'm not sure if what Brennan is trying to say is look at these things in people or do these things for others...

He talks about how Jesus went out for Zacchaeus, a man who the whole community had turned their backs on and said no way. But, Jesus went out there befriended and ate dinner with this man. Jesus loved this man who was hardened by everyone else and let him live again.

John 13:35 is probably one of Brennan's favorite verses. 34."A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." He like's to talk about how the world will not know we are disciples of Christ because we go to church, sing songs and so forth. But, they will know in the way we treat others. Brennan goes on to say we'll be identified as His by one sign only: "The deep and delicate respect for one another, the cordial love impregnated with reverence for the sacred dimension of the human personality because of the mysterious substitution of Christ for the Christian.

The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love. -Galatians 5:6
Love one another as I've loved you. - John 15:12

He goes on to say those who are closest to the heart of the father, the most Christlike. Are not the one's who memorize the most scripture, not the pastor.... He also says it's not the one who spends the most time in prayer. I believe this is him talking about solely prayer, sitting down focusing solely on prayer. Then he goes back to say its faith expressing itself through love is what truly counts and matters.

He then goes on to tell a story of a lame young man, he was a dirty hippie in a college class. He had a terrible self esteem... One day some of his fathers co workers were making fun of him. He reached down kissed him, told him how much he loved him and said if he was alive 200 years there would not be enough time to thank God for the blessing of him. Well, this changed this young mans view of himself. He could not see himself through himself and Brennan talks about how this young man finally could see who he was after his father healed him. Thus healing, I had never thought about it like that, as in healing. But, it does make plenty of sense to me now.

He then challenges us to invite someone into our lives that would be like Zaccheus. And how someone's life can be changed by the touch of love. Just as Larry the hippie's life was changed, he later went on to become an ordained priest and so forth....

The last little part of the chapter was about a lady in a play Man of La mancha . Aldonsa was a trollop, promiscuous woman. She had slept with every man in prison.... She was full of guilt and selfhatred. Don Quixote comes over and befriends her, and begins to tell her how wonderful she is.... He then calls her Dulcinea meaning my sweet little one. He describes "her name is Dulcinea, her country El Toboso, a village of La Mancha, her rank must be at least that of a princess, since she is my queen and lady, and her beauty superhuman, since all the impossible and fanciful attributes of beauty which the poets apply to their ladies are verified in her; for her hairs are gold, her forehead Elysian fields, her eyebrows rainbows, her eyes suns, her cheeks roses, her lips coral, her teeth pearls, her neck alabaster, her bosom marble, her hands ivory, her fairness snow, and what modesty conceals from sight such, I think and imagine, as rational reflection can only extol, not compare." She cannot handle it she yells at him out of self hatred tells him she's only a whore... This goes back and forth several times, then she begins to realize as Don Quixote tells her the past is over and done. That he love's her deeply.... Then she agrees that her name is no longer Aldonsa, it is Dulcinea.

With all this being said I believe Brennan wants this book to be used for someone already rooted in the faith at least a little. To know that we cannot do this on our own. And that it is Christ that allows us to touch others and it is merely not our own works.

William Nathan Dale