July so far.

Well, hello to all. I'm just writing this to write. I do not have anything much to tell you. I just didn't want to stop writing. I wanted to keep you informed of my life. I wanted to tell you stuff. This weekend I celebrated Independence Day in Pigeon Forge. Jordan Walley came, as well as Justin Steele, Michael Borden, Drew Wilkinson and Brandon Stephenson. We got a room at the Family Inns of America for $29.97 a night (killer deal) We also visited Discipleship Focus very often. On the 2nd we got there and hung out and went to eat at McCallister's Deli. I got to steal Lauren Daughtery for the night and go walking. It was really good. Saturday we just hung out waiting on fireworks. Walley, Drew and Myself dressed up. Somewhat against my will, but, drew said "she's your girlfriend you don't have to impress her anymore..." So, i dressed up which may or may not have been a good idea. We get to Patriot park to watch Diamond Trio, man they're awful. We try to get a closer seat, guy starts yelling at me and walley because his 5 year old boy cannot see because we sat in the grass in front of their lawnchairs.... Then old lady starts yelling at our buddy Jared. She was being really hateful, I wanted to punch out her lights! We decide to leave early. I yell at her while we're leaving IM SORRY WE GOT IN YOUR WAY!... Maybe i overreacted maybe i didn't. Sunday July 4, 2010 Drew and myself both got speeding tickets from the same motorcycle cop at the same time. Talk about two birds with one stone, it turned out better than we expected though. As long as we do not get any motor vehicle violations for the next 6 months we are off the hook and do not have to pay that one. It is called Traffic Probation. Yeah, i'm on probabtion.... Sunday we hung out at DFO, walley and I hung out with Autumn Collum, turns out she is really cool as well... Sunday night Mike Ashburn talked at family night really just bringing it. Talked about ebeneezers and how we are to love every single person. That we are Christ to the people that we come into contact during our days...Which is something awesome. monday we left. As soon as I got home I went and ate at my mommas house, played golf... Tuesday I worked and afterwords went to hang out in Sparta with one of my Younglife guys. It was awesome getting to talk to him and sharing instances from both of our lives that we found cool. We sat at Sonic for an hour talking about grace and why things happen and hebrew language... it was cool... Today I am at work....

More Than a Head Bob?

So, as I read The Furious Longing of God, he talks about how the greatest thing we can do is love one another. But, what is love? Love (lŭv)

A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness

But, I'm not sure that this is a good definition to look at if we look at John 15:12 Love each other as I have loved you. What about those people we find to be unlovable. Are we supposed to fake our feelings of affection and solicitude? I guess the real problem is whether we are submitting ourselves and abiding in Jesus Christ. When we are abiding we will know we are doing wrong to those who we feel unlovable and if we are abiding we will not feel bad thoughts towards them? Grace? Maybe we do not enjoy being in their presence... Maybe we have to lay down our own selves and look not only to our own interests but also into the interests of others? So, when we do this, lowering ourselves, making others greater than ourselves what do we get? There was a time I was riding back from Nashville with a buddy Nick and another girl that I found to be super annoying. She was talking the whole time, rambling on and on... I remember him buying into it all, I was sitting in the backseat laughing and I could not believe what she was saying... They sounded like all lies to me. Later I sent him a message that said "That was all a load of BS." he replied "I hope not." See, I think he was loving her for who she was no matter whether they were lies or not... I was pissed, I wouldn't have/didn't/don't like the girl. Then I ask myself how was I supposed to be able to like her? Well, I guess the answer is in Jesus. I suppose I am a little turd myself and some people have a super hard time loving me. But, Jesus loved me, and you, and everyone no matter what. This has turned into more of a Grace thing rather than love. Maybe what I'm getting at is that it takes a incredible amount of grace to love someone. When we screw up it's almost expected, when we are screw ups its expected. This hasn't answered my question to what love is, only explained and revealed to myself how much grace is involved in Love.

This is overwhelming to actually think about what love is and try to find words to explain what it is.
Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13
God is love, whoever lives in love lives in God and God in him. 1 John 4:16
Do everything in love. 1 Corinthians 16:4

1 John 4: 7-21 It talks about God's love for us and ours for him and others. Let us love one another, for love comes from God. It talks about how God sent his son that we might live through him. That's a sacrifice, God sacrificed something he loved, to give out more love?... Not that we loved but that he loved us... Since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.
We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us his spirit. This goes back to the abiding part, if we are living in him we will want to love... We know and rely on the love God has for us... Maybe he is talking about our significance that comes from God, the need of no one else because God has loved us... But, the need for us to love others? maybe that is so we can experience even more love that God has for us. If we put ourselves in his shoes, loving everyone, maybe we can experience more of him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears in not made perfect in love. I feel that I have always been afraid that in love, if I did something, someone wouldn't love me. But I found out that is not true, this goes back to the part about grace. There is so much grace in love and love in grace. It's a wild concept to me. Whoever loves God must also love his brother. I believe I am one to try to get around this, by only loving some of those brothers of mine. The rest I am kind to while in person, but do not particularly like being around. But, I have noticed change in that recently. Which is something I have been very intentional about, as I feel it is important.

I am still pretty sure I have not yet found out exactly what love is but i have an idea and continue to work on that. I know that it is not only what I used to think it was, it still may be some of those things. But, I realize now that it is not solely those few things and that there is so much more to it!

William Nathan Dale

(sorry for this entry being more of a journal and less of a ughh, actually it's my blog, I'll write about whatever I want to...) But seriously thanks for taking time to read about how I feel, think and believe.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HvJO6W7MFMI

Dulcinea

This morning I read a chapter out of Brennan Manning's The Furious Longing of God. The chapter i read was entitled "healing." I thought what in the world is this about, healing... and so forth. My boy Brennan is a Grace man, he's all about grace and loving people as they are not who they should be or who we want them to be or who God wants them to be. So, this chapter was not about physical healing but about inner healing.

Finally brethen, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. - Phil 4:8 I'm not sure if what Brennan is trying to say is look at these things in people or do these things for others...

He talks about how Jesus went out for Zacchaeus, a man who the whole community had turned their backs on and said no way. But, Jesus went out there befriended and ate dinner with this man. Jesus loved this man who was hardened by everyone else and let him live again.

John 13:35 is probably one of Brennan's favorite verses. 34."A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." He like's to talk about how the world will not know we are disciples of Christ because we go to church, sing songs and so forth. But, they will know in the way we treat others. Brennan goes on to say we'll be identified as His by one sign only: "The deep and delicate respect for one another, the cordial love impregnated with reverence for the sacred dimension of the human personality because of the mysterious substitution of Christ for the Christian.

The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love. -Galatians 5:6
Love one another as I've loved you. - John 15:12

He goes on to say those who are closest to the heart of the father, the most Christlike. Are not the one's who memorize the most scripture, not the pastor.... He also says it's not the one who spends the most time in prayer. I believe this is him talking about solely prayer, sitting down focusing solely on prayer. Then he goes back to say its faith expressing itself through love is what truly counts and matters.

He then goes on to tell a story of a lame young man, he was a dirty hippie in a college class. He had a terrible self esteem... One day some of his fathers co workers were making fun of him. He reached down kissed him, told him how much he loved him and said if he was alive 200 years there would not be enough time to thank God for the blessing of him. Well, this changed this young mans view of himself. He could not see himself through himself and Brennan talks about how this young man finally could see who he was after his father healed him. Thus healing, I had never thought about it like that, as in healing. But, it does make plenty of sense to me now.

He then challenges us to invite someone into our lives that would be like Zaccheus. And how someone's life can be changed by the touch of love. Just as Larry the hippie's life was changed, he later went on to become an ordained priest and so forth....

The last little part of the chapter was about a lady in a play Man of La mancha . Aldonsa was a trollop, promiscuous woman. She had slept with every man in prison.... She was full of guilt and selfhatred. Don Quixote comes over and befriends her, and begins to tell her how wonderful she is.... He then calls her Dulcinea meaning my sweet little one. He describes "her name is Dulcinea, her country El Toboso, a village of La Mancha, her rank must be at least that of a princess, since she is my queen and lady, and her beauty superhuman, since all the impossible and fanciful attributes of beauty which the poets apply to their ladies are verified in her; for her hairs are gold, her forehead Elysian fields, her eyebrows rainbows, her eyes suns, her cheeks roses, her lips coral, her teeth pearls, her neck alabaster, her bosom marble, her hands ivory, her fairness snow, and what modesty conceals from sight such, I think and imagine, as rational reflection can only extol, not compare." She cannot handle it she yells at him out of self hatred tells him she's only a whore... This goes back and forth several times, then she begins to realize as Don Quixote tells her the past is over and done. That he love's her deeply.... Then she agrees that her name is no longer Aldonsa, it is Dulcinea.

With all this being said I believe Brennan wants this book to be used for someone already rooted in the faith at least a little. To know that we cannot do this on our own. And that it is Christ that allows us to touch others and it is merely not our own works.

William Nathan Dale

Quia amasti me, fecisti me amabilem.

Recently life for me has been good. It's been a great summer so far just growing and actually learning and pushing forth without some program or anything other than just God and my desire to know him more. Like I said I've read a couple books and have been consistent with waking up and having a quiet time before my day starts off (most of the time it's around 10am anyways) But, then after that is when I really get going. This morning i read some a chapter out of The Furious Longing of God. The chapter was called unplanned moment of prayer. He was really just talking about how much we are loved, and how its unconditional and we often believe in our heads of that but not in our hearts. It talks about how we have to live peacefully with our "amazing degree of weakness", gracefully with our "own extreme psychic frailty", Until we let Christ be our truth, the false, fraudulent self motivated by cowardice and fear will continue to distance us from abiding restful union. The previous chapters talked about Union, Abba, our ideas of gods, and the beginning.

So far I have really enjoyed this book, it makes me ponder upon many ideas. Although, sometimes it is very much of an information overload and I have to go back to reread other things. I guess i'm just not that smart, not!


Quia amasti me, fecisti me amabilem.
(In loving me, you made me lovable.)

It's crazy to think that someone could love us as powerful as God. He loves us unconditionally, which is nothing that one could grasp, i do not believe. What is even more crazy is the fact that he would want to love us. I have nothing that I am able to offer him that he doesn't already have or couldn't get otherwheres. It is fascinating.

I do not like when people start prayer "Daddy" instead of Father, or Jesus. I suppose it has a lot to do with jealousy, I want to be that close to have an intimate relationship but, it feels so far away and silly. In this book he challenges the readers over the next month to pray "Abba, I belong to you." I plan on taking this challenge and emerging myself into prayer and leaving myself behind, if that makes any sense.....

Me or You?

In The Ragamuffin Gospel it talks about becoming humble and letting others be before ourselves. Which makes me wonder why I am writing this blog, is it for me or is it for you. Am I doing this so you will think better of me, or to better myself? Have grace on me either way. I want my life to be one that is not easy but not hard either. Rather I guess I want to have to rely on God and realize my poor state that I am in. Friday night: I was helping with Boston Butts, Eli to me to go beef up the fire, so i did. I didn't realize he did not want it as beefed up as I thought, I got the cooker over 500 degrees and caught part of the grill on fire. I couldn't help but feel like a complete idiot, then I realized man I hope these guys have some grace for me. The most amazing thing was that they actually did, they got it under control and never said anything negative to me. Which was awesome because I knew I did wrong or not right anyways and them telling me how dumb it was would have done nothing. Instead, I got to see exactly what I was looking for the Holy Spirit in them. Typically anyone would have yelled, cussed and said a lot of mean things but not them, it was delightful.
As I move on I realize more and more the way things often are. Not the way I think they should be or wish the way they were. But, the way someone bigger than myself has this perfect plan for me in order to show himself to me. God's love for me is so GREAT and unconditional. It's like my love for NASCAR in a sense. I love NASCAR, no matter what, even if they throw a caution to keep one of the big time drivers from going a lap down(like they did tonight) but still I love it even so. I guess you could say its unconditional, i may get a little upset or aggravated. But that's how Gods love for me is, no matter what I do even if it changes whatever, He still loves me exactly the same as before. Another point after reading the book that struck me super hard was love does not fear.
Work, It's been really busy, 36.5 hours this week. I need to try to let what I am learning through the books I am reading affect me and the others around me at work, which also leads to I need to not only read these novels or whatever but also the Bible the stuff that comes straight out of well, the place these authors get their ideas.

that was a few weeks ago, i'll go ahead and post it now.

Beaches.

Last week my sister graduated college, congrats April. Then I went to the Beach with Lauren, it was fun. We laid out in the sun a lot, we also got some books to read, I read Blue Like Jazz by Don Miller, She got The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan manning. Blue Like Jazz was enjoyable, it really striked a lot with Discovery. It was all narrative and not backed up with very much scripture. One of the biggest things I got out of the book was loving others, no matter what they believe or how they feel about you. We should also be confident in ourselves as God, our father made us to be how we are... Another big idea the book brought out to me was Believing what I believe. Why do I believe what I believe and do I really believe it? What would I do for the things I believe. And how passion is different from belief, I have a passion for 3 but that doesn't mean its important. I believe my life should be more than just me, it should be about others. Then one cool part of the book was were he talked about living with other guys in community, I liked this because I'm in a great position to grow with my roommates as well. So, I guess what I am saying is that my heart really wants to love people. Today I started reading The Ragamuffin Gospel at work. I read the first chapter entitled somethign radically wrong, it talked about grace and how the American church has merely used it as theology but not any use for it. All of this is while I am at work, then a SUPPPPERRR annoying guy comes in and B.S.'s for 30 minutes then he askes about the book, I tell him its about Grace, how none of us are deserving of it and so forth. He then explains " I beg to differ if theres anyone in the world that deserves to go to heaven its my wife, shes not got a mean bone in her, never gossips, she might cuss every now and then or have a drink, but shes the nicest person i know...." I sit there amazed and want to talk back and explain further but i'm mute, I can't make my mouth move... Might I add this was all after he talked to a man with cancer that came in, and when he left he said " When he falls over, theres gonna be a line of guys trying to get with her." Which i don't suppose is too terribly bad but rather super annoying. But this is all where Grace comes in to play, yeah he is annoying, yeah he is full of crap, yeah he is a ragamuffin, and its so hard to seperate myself from him and not put him in a lower catergory or ranking as me. Just like yesterday I wanted to stop and talk to the homeless guys in downtown Knoxville but I didn't I suppose I was afraid they would ask for my money, and I didn't want to say no to them. But what is crazy about the Grace of God is that he loves us long before we love him. While we are sinning and turning our backs on God he is still loving us and wants us.

*I do not proofread, so if there are errors...Deal with it, have some grace on a brotha.*

Forgotten God

Recently I have been reading or read a book by Fancis Chan called "Forgotten God." The book is about the Holy Spirit and how we often pay no attention to it. It reminded a lot of my walk through Discovery the past two summers at Discipleship Focus, there was a lot of the same material in it. Which makes sense since it is out of the bible after all. The first chapter started off with "I've got Jesus why do I need the Holy Spirit..." That is often what how I act. I say oh I've got Jesus, there's no need for me to actually have a relationship with God... Chapter 2 is "what are you afraid of." Honestly I'm afraid of a whole lot of things more than just snakes and spiders. I'm afraid of my future, rejection, uncertainty and so much more. Chapter 3 is theology. Chapter 4 "why do you want him" often I would want it for my own benefit but really we should want the holy spirit in our lives and abide in him because thats what he was made for. That is his purpose so that we may benefit the common good. Chapter 5 " A real relationship." This is knowing God, and being known by him! Galatians 4:9 "But now you have come to know God, or rather be known by God, how can you turn your back again to the weak and worthless elementary principles of the world, whose slaves you want to be once more?" Galatians 4:6-7 "because you are his sons, God sent the Spirit of the Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out. Abba, Father. So you are no longer slaves, but Gods children and since you are his children, he has also made you heirs." No longer slaves, i like that. The chapter also talks about being to comfortable, and being too easily distracted. Chapter 6 is telling us that we wont really know the will he has for our lives until that times comes most likely. Chapter 7 talks about the church and how it should be.

All of this made me think how often I am not that much different now, then I was before Christ. That is what the real shame is, we should be like caterpillars, one day were worming around, then a were in a cocoon for a while, then shoot we got beautiful wings and are flying. Completly different than before. At one point in the book it talked about how we squeeze God into our lives, not how we live for him as we should. We just squeeze him in and give him a little of our time. That is what hits me hard, I in all reality want to and should be living for him. But, so often I am merely making time for him in my life. Just think how much easier life would be if we soley relied on him. We really wouldn't have any worries, because, if we trust in him we know that what he is doing is good and would not have to lean upon ourselves. If only it were that easy. The book really helped me realize that our worldly issues really do not matter one bit. And in that we should completely live for him. The prodigal son is often how i feel, I go out and squander in sin, then i feel awful about it so much that i do not feel worthy to even pray or read my bible. I feel like i have to get my act together before i can go to God. But, this is not true (romans 8:1) And we know that "nothing can seperate us from the Love of God in Christ Jesus."(8:39)

So I hope that made sense, I'm not proofreading it, because thats not what I do.... But, I dont really read either. I was just at work, and was going to be super bored so I borrowed this book from Brad Wright. It is a great book i recommend it highly.

Sir Nathan Dale.