Me or You?

In The Ragamuffin Gospel it talks about becoming humble and letting others be before ourselves. Which makes me wonder why I am writing this blog, is it for me or is it for you. Am I doing this so you will think better of me, or to better myself? Have grace on me either way. I want my life to be one that is not easy but not hard either. Rather I guess I want to have to rely on God and realize my poor state that I am in. Friday night: I was helping with Boston Butts, Eli to me to go beef up the fire, so i did. I didn't realize he did not want it as beefed up as I thought, I got the cooker over 500 degrees and caught part of the grill on fire. I couldn't help but feel like a complete idiot, then I realized man I hope these guys have some grace for me. The most amazing thing was that they actually did, they got it under control and never said anything negative to me. Which was awesome because I knew I did wrong or not right anyways and them telling me how dumb it was would have done nothing. Instead, I got to see exactly what I was looking for the Holy Spirit in them. Typically anyone would have yelled, cussed and said a lot of mean things but not them, it was delightful.
As I move on I realize more and more the way things often are. Not the way I think they should be or wish the way they were. But, the way someone bigger than myself has this perfect plan for me in order to show himself to me. God's love for me is so GREAT and unconditional. It's like my love for NASCAR in a sense. I love NASCAR, no matter what, even if they throw a caution to keep one of the big time drivers from going a lap down(like they did tonight) but still I love it even so. I guess you could say its unconditional, i may get a little upset or aggravated. But that's how Gods love for me is, no matter what I do even if it changes whatever, He still loves me exactly the same as before. Another point after reading the book that struck me super hard was love does not fear.
Work, It's been really busy, 36.5 hours this week. I need to try to let what I am learning through the books I am reading affect me and the others around me at work, which also leads to I need to not only read these novels or whatever but also the Bible the stuff that comes straight out of well, the place these authors get their ideas.

that was a few weeks ago, i'll go ahead and post it now.